You may remember when I did the first CRAZY LETTERS WE GET BLOG, back in January.  Well, I saved a few of my favorites these past few weeks, and I feel it is time for Part 2.  So here you are: Crazy Letters We Get – Part Two.  Enjoy!  I know WE did.  (Please note that none of the pictures reflect the actual animals in the discussion.  Just some crazy looking pics that seemed appropriate).
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This was an email I sent to Joy, the Director of Pets Alive Westchester:

We got a called in complaint today.
A woman adopted a dog from you yesterday and the paperwork says it is a basset hound but she is POSITIVE it is a Rottweiler.
She is very upset that you gave her a rottweiler instead of a basset hound so she wants to bring this one back and exchange it for a basset hound.
She doesn’t “want no wottweiler”.
So please stop giving away rottweilers and trying to dress them up as basset hounds.
It is very unseemly for our organization.

Joy’s response:
Three of us pee’d our pants when I read this out loud. Do you know who called (we dressed up a lot of rotties as bassets yesterday – just want to make sure who the smarty pants is that complained so we can be prepared to grovel appropriately.)
I would like you all to know that we have since made it policy that Westchester is no longer permitted to dress up Wott-While-Ers as Basset Hounds and we deeply apologize to all of you that we have done this to in the past.  You may come and exchange your dogs.
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hy I haven’t received XXXX’s birth certificate with all of his papers.
Can you tell me when you will send me his birth certificate?

Dear XXX, I’m sorry but dogs do not come with birth certificates.
All the information and medical sheets you received list the dogs age.

ok I’m sorry for saying birth certificate but how do i know when he was born.

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This one is more sad than anything.  But it fits in the “crazy” department for sure.  We get a lot of requests to take in animals for behavior problems. Aggression. Inappropriate elimination. Separation anxiety. Doesn’t get along with the other animals.  Many are valid reasons that an animal may not be able to stay in a home.  But I think this one takes the case.  I mean THIS woman has SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS reasons that her cat MUST GO now!  Please note that she has managed with these terrible issues for NINE YEARS.  Oiy. (The red highlights are mine).

I am writing to ask whether or not you accept surrenders. If so, I am wondering what the process is. If you need more information, here is a brief description of my problem:

My husband and I adopted two cats 9 years ago, and the behavior of one of the cats had so frustrated us that we cannot handle having her as a pet anymore. She is not mean or aggressive, but she enjoys eating paper, eating the other cat’s food, waking us up a half and hour before we need to get up (regardless of what time it is-if we establish a routine she adjusts). She is so sweet and affectionate sometimes, and it breaks my heart to let her go during those moments or sincere companionship. Honestly though, I am a a crossroads because I don’t know what else to do with her- those moments do not outweigh the frustration she brings us. I feel like I can’t adopt her out to a someone I know because I know I will get her back, and I am worried to adopt her out to a stranger because her behaviors, while only goofy and not violent, are so annoying that they could lead to abuse or worse.

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In this next case, we had a purebred dog at our Westchester location and we had an inquiry from a rescue for that breed.  Now before just handing over any dog in our facility to ANY rescue, we of course check them out.  We have a short form we ask them to fill out which enables us to follow up and learn about their organization. Here is Joy’s letter to the woman, asking her for that information. The woman’s response is below.
Hi, we are so grateful that you have reached out to us in regards to XXXXX.  Before turning a dog over to your organization we would need to see proof of your 501c3 status, and we have a form that rescue organizations are required to submit that tells us a little about the organization and provides contact information about its officers. In addition, the organization needs to sign a statement promising to adhere to our no kill policy.

Thanks for your reply. We are 501-c-3, incorporated in NY, but unless a volunteer is willing to fill out the form, I am “formed” out and won’t fill out forms anymore.

Well. Our bad!  Guess we should just meet her at the gas station at the corner and put the dog in her trunk!  Giggle.  Sigh. Let’s move on.
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Hi, I stopped by to donate some cats to your organization the other day but was told that I had to fill out paperwork and submit a surrender request to do so. Are you people crazy?  I have cats. I am making a donation of them to you. You make money on selling these cats to people. I’m not asking for any money for them I was willing to donate them to you so that you could make your bucks. Forget it now.  I don’t have time for paperwork and everything else.  Either take the cats or don’t but don’t harass the shit out of me to fill out unnecessary paperwork when I’m trying to do something good for your organization. I will donate them somewhere else.  Someplace that doesn’t harass people.

Yes. You do that sir.  Thank you.
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Yes, I did return the dog to your organization. When I adopted the dog it was already 7 months old. Yet I took it home and it peed in my house.  Just walked in and pissed all over the wall. I mean what the hell. I didn’t pay some adoption fee to get a dog that wasn’t trained not to piss all over walls. What are you doing down there if you’re not teaching the dogs this stuff. I don’t know how you adopt any dogs at all if this is how you do it.  I’m certainly not keeping a dog that walks into the house and the first thing he does is piss. So I want my money back.  You got your dog back, give me my money back. Don’t make me have to sue you. I will.

Yes. You do that sir.  Thank you.
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Hi, I have been taking care of cats for years. My kids kept saying I should FIX them but I don’t think that is a natural thing for an animal. Usually I just keep them in separate rooms.  All the boys in one place and girls in another but somehow they still keep having babies. I won’t fix them. it isn’t right. So it seems now that I have 49 cats and my landlord wants to to find some place to put them.  Please let me know when you can come and pick them up.  You’ll have to sign an agreement not to fix them. I don’t like that and it is unnatural.  Thanks.  You can call me at XXX-XXXX before you come to get them as i will want to look you all in the eye first.

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This one came in the mail. Hand written. You’ll see why.

Dear Pets Alive, Heloo!!!!!!!  I have a problem. I have flocks of birds. Ducks, chickens, geese, turkeys etc that I absolutely love and adore but yesterday the code enforcer stopped by and said I have to get rid of them. I think this is some sort of family vendetta since I want a divorce from my paranoid, alcoholic, abusive husband and I suspect he knows these people. I don’t eat my birds and I don’t even eat their eggs, since they are fertile. I believe in letting them all live naturally. If you take them you can not eat them, or eat their eggs. If there are other sanctuaries that can help me can you contact them for me, as I am unable to get online for the past 2-3 weeks because of severe computer problems and my phone hasn’t been working right. I suspect my husband of tampering with it as it is acting “funny” and so has my laptop. Something is VERY “wrong” here. It seems I am being purposely “thwarted” from finding proper homes for my flocks and something is definitely “awry”. You shouldn’t write to me as family members have been making my mail “disappear” from the mailbox before the lady comes to pick it up and I’m very sure that is illegal and I will need to check into that for sure.”.

We don’t really do birds here, so I probably couldn’t help anyway but I’m unsure how to get in touch with someone that I can’t call, email or mail.  Hmm.
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Thank goodness there are also a multitude of really awesome letters.  Like the next two. Thank you guys for balancing it out!

Hi- We had the pleasure of visiting your amazing facility today to check on a dog that we found wandering the road over the weekend. After being turned away by every shelter (and the animal control officer was off, and the poilice couldn’t help us)- we were told by a friend to look into Pets Alive. We took Ellie in the next morning, and she was welcomed with open arms by your wonderful staff. We decided to go out and purchase some items that you were in need of, and we brought them over this morning. We were pleasantly surprised to see Ellie in the office as happy as can be. She was actually smiling, and we knew without a doubt that she was in the best hands imaginable, and right where she was meant to be.
We spoke to some of your staff about volunteering, and they kindly gave my 7 year old son a cat orientation. We will be back next weekend to finish the rest. Aside from that- we asked what else we can do to help. We were blown away by the level of care these animals are all receiving, by the compassionate and extremely passionate staff and volunteers that we met, and the fact that we didn’t leave there feeling sick to our stomachs that these poor animals are lonely or suffering. This is an amazing place, doing amazing things, and we want to help in any way we can. One of your volunteers mentioned that you are doing some renovations to a barn, and adding indoor dog kennels. She said you would be looking for some outside laborers. I don’t know if this helps at all; but my husband owns his own drywall company, and if there comes a time that you need sheetrock or spackling done- he will donate his time and materials. We also heard that you are in need of some volunteers to help with adoption events/ fundraisers, and we would love to be a part of that as well. I am a stay at home mom- so I have some time if there is anything I can do from home to help, too.
I know that you are extremely busy, and I’m sorry that I took up some of your time to read this. I just wanted to let you know how touched we were after leaving there, and offer our services to some way thank you for all of the wonderful things you are doing for the animals we share our world with.
Please feel free to call or write if you need anything. Take care, Andrea G

Thanks Andrea.  But it is YOU who were the heroes. For picking this dog up off the street, not looking the other way and staying determined to get her to a safe place. You could have taken the easy way out.  You didn’t.  Thank you for saving her.
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The Fur Ball was an incredible fantastic night! All of the hard work by everyone showed brilliantly!!! I hope it was as successful on your side as it was on our side as attendees 🙂

And before the moment passes and mushy/gushy turns awkward, I wanted to thank you for being such an incredible voice. It’s not just the animals you speak for when you represent Pets Alive. You’ve shown the world how incredible women are in that they can take on the worst and hardest situations and turn them golden. You show the world children are indeed of value in the day to day and in the future that is to come. You’ve shown the world that it is far more masculine and macho for men to be kind and respectful and caring to senior dogs or newborn kittens. You put that all together under the umbrella of Pets Alive and it adds up to a huge statement. I think sometimes that gets overlooked when we are focused on the animals and yet it is so important.

When the days seem to have endless mountains to climb, please always remember there are those of us who believe in you and all you do. Some days we’ll be the pebbles that need to be stepped on when you are climbing and other days we’ll be the ropes & pulley’s to help you climb. We’re not fly-by-night fans and we won’t go poof! and disappear. Face it: we love ya & you’re stuck with us.

You’re always in my heart,  See ya soon!
xoxox
Sandi

Damnit.  Now you made me cry.
I needed that.  Big. Thanks for the reminder not to let the crazies get to us.